The Blog Infomercial

Hey there folks,

Are you tired of going through the internet and seeing well-written, grammatically correct blogs that inspire you to live your life to the fullest?

Are you tired of scrolling down the list of websites that you know put out meaningful content everyday?

On the slight chance that you are tired of that stuff, we have just the thing for you!

It’s called the I’m Just Super Saiyan blog!

It’s a blog that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and throws random pictures at you in an attempt to keep you so confused that you come back to read more!

I’m Just Super Saiyan is a blog so obscure and sarcastic that you’ll worry that the author is actually a bear-shark. And we’re here to tell you that she really is.

Mild-mannered college student Super Saiyan M, is actually Paprika – the bear-shark.

Paprika wants you to know that she strives to give you blogging content that’s slightly above average, she works in her water cave designing all the artwork using only her two fin-claws.

Paprika is 100% made in America and guaranteed to be make no sense.

Paprika is a terrible cook, hates cleaning, and sleeps the majority of the day!

When you put Paprika in front of a computer and give her food, she’ll share with you her writing secrets. Like, “don’t proof read” and “what’s an Oxford comma?”

If you follow I’m Just Super Saiyan right now, you’ll recieve not 1, not 2 but 3 Paprikas for your home or office!

You can have your very own Paprika sitting next to you and your computer! She’ll take you on a magically procrastination adventure on the internet, guaranteed to last longer than ten minutes.

Got a blog of your own but can’t seem to come up with anything to post? She’ll use fear to motivate you to blog! Blogging has never been easier! If you feed Paprika regularly, you’ll probably even get to keep your fingers so you can keep typing!

Paprika may even let you watch her write a blog post for the I’m Just Super Saiyan blog, if she decides to write that day! 40% of the time, she blogs every time!

But that’s not all!

Follow in the next fifteen minutes and you’ll get a free one of a kind wizard! (Shipping and handling not included, wizard does not possess actual magical powers. Wizards are only available in 7 states, two of which we think are on the fence about it.)

The I’m Just Super Saiyan Blog!

What are you waiting for? Buy Follow now!

(I’m Just Super Saiyan blog is subject to change depending on availability. Multiple Paprika offer is done through cloning methods and is possibly also illegal. Our company claims immunity of fees, fines or legal monetary charges for the following conditions: if a Paprika escapes and terrorizes your community, if Paprika bites your fingers off, if Paprika decides to use your domain as a cat zoo, if Paprika floods your car to create a personal jacuzzi. When ordering a Paprika, you are voluntarily agreeing to helping pay her student loan debt. She is also asking for nightly back scratching sessions and Netflix on demand. Does not work well with children or on group projects.)

(Wizards and bear-sharks are natural enemies, do not place your free wizard and Paprika in the same room, home, or city.)

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TEDxFIU Speakers and Innovative Shark Ideas!

For those who may remember, I recently perchased my ticket to go to this year’s TEDxFIU Reimagine Possible event! The tickets to which sold out in a matter of minutes, and I was able to get my hands on one. The ticket camp-out processes is one that I had never done before and provoked a family value-sized amount of anxiety. The sweat on my palms alone could have filled the Red Sea.

Words cannot describe how excited I am to go to my FIRST EVER TED talk. Seriously. Like, the words…I don’t have any.

At the time of purchasing my ticket, I didn’t actually know WHO was speaking at the TEDxFIU event, but nowww THE SPEAKERS HAVE JUST BEEN ANNOUNCED. 

SWEET SONS OF NEPTUNE I AM SO EXCITED.

Innovation and new ideas are something that everyone can use.

Even better is taking negative stigmas and turning them into positives.

Take for example, this supernatural shark phenomenon. So I don’t know if you’ve heard about Sharknado…but its basically showcasing the already feared shark as a diabolical, flying death machine. WHAT?

There’s also Ghost Shark, which I caught on the Sy-Fi channel… It’s about a shark so evil that it kills you after it’s already died. And yes, this shark also flies at you in the land.  Really???

What I’m trying to say is that if we are going to make sharks do stuff that they normally don’t do – why do we have to make their tasks things that are violent – and always flying?  Why not have sharks save the world?

TED has inspired me to reimagine new innovative ways that we can use sharks that relieves them from this flying death trap stigma.

I present to you, Shartato. This shark is half potato, and grows back its body parts – so infinite potatoes for the world to feast on!

I got another idea: Sharktenna. Sharktenna is a new, innovative way to improve your cellphone reception.

I know that I could definitely use this next invention: Shark.S.B. The USB that swims your way when you’ve lost your own USB or desperately need to back up some documents!

But lets think on a global scale, how about repairing our OZONE LAYER? Thanks to sharks, we can. Its a little idea that I call SHARKZONING.

I even have an idea to help local communities get more into physical fitness! Just institute the EXSHARKCISE program!

Help give scientists around the world a new perspective on their research, a shark’s perspective. That’s what the SHARKINEERING is for:

Is your government shut down because of irrational convoluted political drama? Send in the GOVERNMENT SHARKDOWN! All problems will be solved within hours, or no one leaves Washington alive.

So with that last one I seem to have failed at providing a non-violent representation of sharks…sorry. I think I’ve just made my whole argument invalid at this point.

Guess I’ll end it here.

What kind of shark innovation would you invent to better the world?