TEDxFIU Speakers and Innovative Shark Ideas!

For those who may remember, I recently perchased my ticket to go to this year’s TEDxFIU Reimagine Possible event! The tickets to which sold out in a matter of minutes, and I was able to get my hands on one. The ticket camp-out processes is one that I had never done before and provoked a family value-sized amount of anxiety. The sweat on my palms alone could have filled the Red Sea.

Words cannot describe how excited I am to go to my FIRST EVER TED talk. Seriously. Like, the words…I don’t have any.

At the time of purchasing my ticket, I didn’t actually know WHO was speaking at the TEDxFIU event, but nowww THE SPEAKERS HAVE JUST BEEN ANNOUNCED. 

SWEET SONS OF NEPTUNE I AM SO EXCITED.

Innovation and new ideas are something that everyone can use.

Even better is taking negative stigmas and turning them into positives.

Take for example, this supernatural shark phenomenon. So I don’t know if you’ve heard about Sharknado…but its basically showcasing the already feared shark as a diabolical, flying death machine. WHAT?

There’s also Ghost Shark, which I caught on the Sy-Fi channel… It’s about a shark so evil that it kills you after it’s already died. And yes, this shark also flies at you in the land.  Really???

What I’m trying to say is that if we are going to make sharks do stuff that they normally don’t do – why do we have to make their tasks things that are violent – and always flying?  Why not have sharks save the world?

TED has inspired me to reimagine new innovative ways that we can use sharks that relieves them from this flying death trap stigma.

I present to you, Shartato. This shark is half potato, and grows back its body parts – so infinite potatoes for the world to feast on!

I got another idea: Sharktenna. Sharktenna is a new, innovative way to improve your cellphone reception.

I know that I could definitely use this next invention: Shark.S.B. The USB that swims your way when you’ve lost your own USB or desperately need to back up some documents!

But lets think on a global scale, how about repairing our OZONE LAYER? Thanks to sharks, we can. Its a little idea that I call SHARKZONING.

I even have an idea to help local communities get more into physical fitness! Just institute the EXSHARKCISE program!

Help give scientists around the world a new perspective on their research, a shark’s perspective. That’s what the SHARKINEERING is for:

Is your government shut down because of irrational convoluted political drama? Send in the GOVERNMENT SHARKDOWN! All problems will be solved within hours, or no one leaves Washington alive.

So with that last one I seem to have failed at providing a non-violent representation of sharks…sorry. I think I’ve just made my whole argument invalid at this point.

Guess I’ll end it here.

What kind of shark innovation would you invent to better the world?

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AIR PUFFS & FINGER SPEAKERS, Thanks Disney!

I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS TOUCHING TECHNOLOGY

So some bros in Pittsburgh who fiddle with technology for Disney Research came up with this particular “Ishin-Den-Shin” technology that takes recorded audio, converts it into a signal that you can’t hear, then transfers that signal through the human who held this special recorder so that they are now a human speaker. Holy shit.

The example that they’ve been illustrating with this is the finger-to-ear one where just by pointing your finger, after having been exposed to the audio signal, you can replay the audio to another person who hears exactly what had been recorded. It’s like E.T., if E.T. wanted to share the billboard top 100 with you instead of healing your wound. What I’m trying to say, is that its magic. This is some kind of Harry Potter wizarding sorcery. If I don’t have this done to myself, personally, its so hard for me to imagine what this would even be like. BUT ITS SO FUCKING CRAZY EXCITING!

But if you are Disney, then you don’t stop here, of course. You want more.

Such as the still developing Aireal tactile air device! So in this case, researches are using puffs of air to convey a sense of realism. The air puffs happen at different speeds to provide maximal air-real-ism-ish-ness. This is all done without any additional devices, such as gloves or vests.

More magical wizardness. Well Disney, keep this shit coming, its fantastic! :3