I'm just Super Saiyan

No one tells me anything, just saiyan…


42 Comments

THE SUPERMAN EFFECT

Alright, so I’m sure I’m not the first person that this has happened  to, but I thought I’d rant about it anyway.

Actually, this is going to be a two part rant. Part 1 is about my lack of eyesight abilities, part 2 about the superman effect.

PART 1 – I CAN’T SEE

As a kid, I don’t remember gradually losing my eye sight… even though it probably was gradual. According to my memory, it happened in the matter of a week.

First I recall my teacher coming up to me and asking me if I was having a lot of trouble looking at the board, cause apparently I was squinting my eyes. Then in my phys. ed. class the following day we had like some eye vision test thing. It wasn’t random, they did it every year, but this year they sent me home with a note. Then I remember my dad driving me to the optometrist and telling me that I needed glasses.

Now, my dad has worn glasses since the beginning of dad history. So, it was explained to me that crap eyesight was passed down to me by the biological miracle that is genetics. So, I was kind of always destined to wear glasses. At some point, one way or another, my vision would start to deteriorate, and I’d have to get glasses. There’s no way to out run fate kids…especially when you can’t see where you’re going.

After the eye exam, I waited patiently with my dad in this museum of glasses. They came in all shapes, sizes, colors, it was crazy overwhelming. I have always been very indecisive, so my dad helped pick out my first pair. They were this kind of light brown, very circular shaped, pair of glasses. I was excited to try them on.

Okay, so here’s the thing. Before I got glasses, I had no idea that I had crooked ears. SURPRISE – I know now.

Even worse, because I had never had glasses before, I wasn’t used to having to keep tabs on their location all the time.  So one day I accidentally sat on them…and made them even more crooked.

Yeah. I had to go to school looking like that.

These glasses weren’t doing me any favors man, my nerd factor just exponentially skyrocketed.  Silver-lining – I could see with crystal clarity the looks of pity on the faces of my peers.

It’s the little things in life…

Anyway, as my eyes slowly started to decompose in my skull, my eye sight started getting progressively worse. I’d go back and get new pairs of glasses over the course of my life. Here’s a quick recap of the pairs I’ve owned:

I guess I was never really into loud or bright colors. Also, I didn’t discover contact lenses until I was like…17, so until then I had to always choose colors that would match the majority of my wardrobe.

These days glasses are cool and hip. I see kids running around with frames that don’t even have lenses. ARE YOU MOCKING ME CHILDREN? Why couldn’t glasses have been cool when I was growing up?

Anyway, I complain some more about being blind in one of my previous posts.  But what I really want to get to, is part 2 of this post, because I’ve got some rants to unleash.

PART 2: SUPERMAN EFFECT

I think I’ve had this conversation with a couple of people who wear glasses before. It’s the Superman effect.

Okay so everyone knows (the audience) that Superman is Clark Kent; but no one in Metropolis would ever be able to finish that puzzle. Makes you wonder, like, they could have done anything to Superman – ANYTHING – and these Metropolites would totally buy it.

The thing is that, in the real world, this happens all the time.

On several different occasions, I have introduced myself to someone without my glasses and if I ran into them again with my glasses they would re-introduce themselves to me.

The other thing that happens to me is that people will call me another name. I’ll show up to class one day with my glasses off, the professor calls me by my given name, no problems. I show up the next day with my glasses on, suddenly I’m “Melissa.”

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE GALAXIES IN THIS UNIVERSE, WHY AM I ALWAYS MELISSA? SERIOUSLY. Was there a memo that went out about how if you forget my name the automatic default is Melissa? Where did you even come up with that! Is everyone in on this? People who have never met each other, that I have met separately, have mistakenly called me Melissa.

YEAH I MAY LOOK DIFFERENT, CAUSE THERE’S AN OBJECT SITTING ON MY FACE – BUT NOT THAT DAMN DIFFERENT.

What is it about my glasses that makes people think I’m a completely different person?

I’ve heard of the Doorway Effect, where when you walk through a doorway you subconsciously forget about whatever it was that you were doing. Maybe glasses are the same way. Maybe when I put on my glasses, its like a reverse doorway effect – people who see me subconsciously forget who I am. My glasses open a realm of random forgetfulness.

The reverse doorway effect wipes away my identity when the glasses situate themselves on my face. To outsiders who may have known me, their memory of me becomes erased. This has to be the reason why people don’t recognize me…IT HAS TO BE.

What do you guys think about all this? Can you relate to any of it? Or is this just something I’m cursed with… TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE.


5 Comments

Putting the blind in blind-as-a-batman

>:C

I woke up early this morning because the dog I’m dog-sitting was whining like a crazy person. As much as I enjoy sleeping, I also enjoy a pee-free carpet, so I got up. But then, I forgot how to glasses.  o______oV

So, this hasn’t happened in a while, but, I went to bed late last night due to doggie’s whining in the evening so when I finally did start to fall asleep I didn’t pay enough attention as to where I was placing them.

And now here I am, pulling a Velma, trying to find my glasses so this dog doesn’t pee on my carpet. Meanwhile, dog doesn’t understand my feels, he just knows his bladder is on the brink of exploding and I’m wasting his precious time as I stumble around touching all available surface areas.

I really hate being so blind.

You know that situation where people try on other people’s glasses? Yeah, whenever mine are examined, the response is always “omg i’m going to be sick, you really are blind.” Thanks? Thanks for believing in the truth I speak when I say I really can’t see shit!

I think my reliance on glasses is really holding me back from my vigilante crime fighting aspirations. Although asthma is a close second, I’m sure.

Situations I can foresee becoming an issue:

  • Extremely humid crime-heavy ares: foggy glasses
  • Extremely rainy crime-heavy areas: foggy glasses
  • Heroic newspaper pictures: lens flare – I’ll look like a bad guy in an anime
  • Battles with baddies: I’ll become broke investing in contacts to avoid the glasses-falling-off-my-face factor

If I were a part of a team, like the mystery team, then I could have moments like Velma with no problem cause people would have my back. But I couldn’t solo that shit. No one would take me seriously if I was like this erryday:

Not very intimidating, imo.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT MY COMPLAINTS, HERE’S A GUY WHO IS CHANGING SHIT!

Yash Gupta started the organization Sight Learning in 2011.  Basically they go around to optometrists and collect glasses and then send them to children who need them! Sight Learning donated 9,500 glasses for kids in Haiti, Honduras, India and Mexico.

Genius.

This guy is the super hero, obviously. The batman for all those blind-as-a-bats out there :3 myself included. He is out there spreading the awarness of how children world wide who have vision impairments have no resources to a decent pair of glasses!

If you are blind, like myself, and have been for many years – send in your old glasses! Seriously! I plan on donating my current pair of glasses when I get a new pair! :3

I love calling myself out as a douche bag when I complain about something and I am reminded of how privileged I am by having it.  Gotta keep shit real. This is a great organization and mission. Gupta, you are a badass.