I'm just Super Saiyan

No one tells me anything, just saiyan…


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FLYING DEVIL CREATURES

Okay, so, as a person who has a biology degree I feel that I should be able to appreciate all of the little creatures and critters that roam this earth. Their anatomy is beyond interesting, studying their traits and characteristics makes for great insight into what makes this little world of ours so majestic. We have something to learn from even the smallest insects.

That being said, I think butterflies are the spawn of Satan.

I realize, after reading that last sentence again, that it sounds pretty harsh. So let me try and come up with another way to convey my feelings…uh…uhhh…um…  Yeah, no, I stand by that statement. I really, really don’t like them.

Look, don’t get me wrong, I love looking at butterfly pictures. I love microscopic images that show the details of their bad ass wings and pigments. I think their migration patterns are cool. Their life-cycle is fascinating. I even enjoy observing their little preserved bodies in museums.

But if those flying devil creatures come near me…I can’t help it. Some kind of deep, instinctive, survival adrenaline rushes over me when a butterfly crosses into my personal space. I just freak the fuck out. I scream bloody murder, my hands thrash around defensively, I run around in a random zig-zag pattern.

I don’t even fully understand why I’m so afraid of them. I mean, I am a giant human person, I have the means to destroy every inch of those savage butterfly beasts if I wanted to…

My fear of butterflies just can’t be explained. Like, I know why I hate roaches – they’re grimy, they infest your home, they can outlive you (I don’t trust immortal things). I know why I hate mosquitoes – I have an allergy to their bites so my skin puffs up like a fucking balloon if they decide to feast on my blood, also that buzz noise they make is annoying. Moths eat my clothes, so I hate them too.

But, butterflies? I got no idea. I love everything about them except when they’re on me.  Kind of like kids with runny, dripping nose fluids…they’re cute but don’t put them near me.

One time, I went to this place called Butterfly World. I agreed to go to this place because the way it was explained to me was that it was like a caged zoo for butterflies. You would enter a room and there’d be a net shielding you from the demonic flutter monsters, so you could look at their pretty colors and shit but you were totally safe.

I was wrong.

Apparently, these net shields were optional – like my sanity. This place was like a free-range chicken farm. Those motherfuckers were all over the place and I was scared for my life. I had my hands up in front of my face, waving sporadically around my head to make sure they wouldn’t land on me.

I just kept chanting Ace Ventura’s bat cave mantra – “I am not afraid. I am NOT afraid. I really like it here. I will fear no living creature...”

Then we entered a room towards the end, where apparently prehistoric giant butterflies lived. Descendants of Mothra took shelter in this butterfly zoo, and they were thirsty for my flesh. Mothra was a defender of earth…but her children only wanted to terrorize me. In my head I instantly came up with a million escape routes, my mother and brother looked worried about my bizarre demeanor. They didn’t understand, they couldn’t save me. No one could.

I shoved my way to the front of the room where the door was, but I was too late.  Mutant Butterfree did a kamikaze nose dive straight into my face. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

I screamed and treated it like fire. STOP. DROP. ROLL. My arms flailed around, I wanted to call for help but all I could vocalize from my mouth was something that sounded like a cross between a whale giving birth and the Silent Hill siren.

Suddenly I could hear my moms voice, she brought me back to reality.

Mutant butterfree had spared me. Besides the emotional harm that came from embarrassing my family, no one was physically harmed in the altercation. I consider myself lucky to have survived. I went into Butterfly World and made it out alive. I hope I don’t have nightmares tonight.

Also, can we like, take a second to realize that Butterfree – the pokemon – is 3’07” feet or 1.1 meters tall? I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE AFRAID OF THIS.

What about you guys? What fear do you have that no one else seems to be able to relate to? What fears do you have that not even you understand why you have them?


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BLOG ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

So something pretty cool just happened…I just surpassed 100 subscribers!

HOLY SHIT

OMG

WHAT

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

+ 100 EXPERIENCE, SUPER SAIYAN M GAINED A LEVEL.

100 people decided I was cool enough to push the follow button. I feel like I should shake your hands…or play you in a friendly game of dominoes, I don’t know… what is it that people do to show their thanks these days?

I remember my first week of blog posting I got a view from the U.K. and I flipped my shit. I was like “Omg, did you get lost little lamb? Were you trying to find more information about dragon ball z and instead ended up on this sarcastic rambling blog? Or are you Michael Caine, researching a future movie role and seeking inspiration from grammatically incoherent college students?”

Today I took a screen shot of all the flags whose citizens procrastinated to my side of the internet.

Look at all these places! I really need to get to know you guys, cause I’m totally down for couch surfing if you are. I’m in need of a vacation.

Anyway…

So this is me, thanking you, for hanging out with me. OH GOD, I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULDN’T GET THESE FEELS-

I do have to say, its a bit disappointing not knowing all you guys…like I have gotten to know a handful who are frequent commenters (which is cool <3)… but for the most part my audience is a big mystery to me.

THUS I would like to make a suggestion… can we have a quick Q & A?  I mean, just a little something so I can get to know you. Please, answer the following questions below

  1. How did you find me?
  2. What are your hobbies?
  3. Tell me something you learned about blogging.
  4. Do you drive stick shift or automatic?
  5. What’s your pet’s name…wait, do you have a pet? If you don’t have a pet, would you like one?

Cool, I can’t wait to read your answers.

Right about now, you’re probably (or probably not) asking yourself why I like blogging so much.

Well, you see, I have nothing else better to do.

Yeah. For real.

Like, I am taking classes. And when I’m done with the work for those classes…I sit in my room, looking at this computer screen, typing on this keyboard, wandering aimlessly into the vast internet ocean. Like a mighty, ferociously curious and muscular shark. Lots of muscles. I work out.

So, basically, I’m already here…might as well entertain myself.

Here’s a depiction of how my blogging process goes.

BLOGGING PROCESS


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Yoga Class

BARE FEET IS HOW WE ROLL, SHOES ARE FOR ZUMBA NERDS

When I’m at my apartment I chill with my brother a lot. I love that kid. My brother has told me before that he wanted to try yoga. He and I used to be gym buddies. But lately our sleep schedules haven’t quite been overlapping all that much and to avoid sitting at my computer chair on a daily basis I push myself to go to the gym at around 6-6:30am; when, unfortunately, my brother is still snoozing. I miss tag teaming with him at the gym, but if I don’t push myself to go to work out then it doesn’t happen.

So recently, I’ve been riding solo to the YMCA closest to my apartment (I have a free membership through my university). When I get there I pop on my earphones and get in the zone. I don’t talk to anyone really (its mostly empty in the mornings), and I try to do a little bit of something in each of the rooms (weight room, cardio machine room, other machine room, etc..).

SQUATS ON SQUATS ON SQUATS

Well, one day, I decided to do my work out out of order (usually I do cardio first in the cardio machine room), I started in the weight room and did some squats. On my way back to the central area of the YMCA I saw that people were setting up for a yoga class in the main group workout area.

Now, I have tried yoga before, I think four years ago. It was not the most pleasant of experiences. When I was completing my first degree my university dropped some mad amount of money on a new gym and recreational center for its main campus. Kosmonat and I decided to explore the group exercises one day and we ended up going to a yoga class.

This class was hard as fuck. The yoga instructor would keep saying things like “I can see we have some new people” and “Try and keep up if you’re just a beginner” or “These are simple positions so it should be easy for our beginners”… I think those comments just made me look like a bigger jack ass for not being able to pretzel my way into whatever the hell position she was trying to make us do. I literally fell on my face the majority of the time and the other half of the time I was asking Naty if it looked like I was doing it right. To which she would tell me she had no idea.

That yoga class was going 150 miles an hour and I didn’t understand any of it.

Fast forward to my curious gym morning this past week, I cringed at the sign that said yoga. Gross. But then I thought about how my brother really wanted to try the yoga sessions at this gym. As more and more people started piling in I found myself just kind of standing there looking at all of them. Then I thought, “You know what? I don’t feel like doing cardio…so fuck it”.  I grabbed a mat, took off my shoes and sat my ass down.

A really thin, short haired blonde woman made her way to the front of the class, she had a super cute yoga outfit on. And when she opened her mouth, a super strong Russian accent coated her words.

OH SHIT, I LOVE HER ALREADY. This is gonna be good.

So I was pleasantly surprised to find that my instructor was far more easy going and explanatory than my previous experience. She would give two to three suggestions about alternative positions we could make if we wanted to “challenge” ourselves. As in, if we were more advanced. So the majority of her instructions were for the most basic positions. AKA – PERFECT FOR ME.

She was also really big on the calming and relaxation part of yoga, which is cool because I could use more of that to subdue my anxiety. Her inhale and exhale instructions were really detailed – from your nose, from your mouth, while lifting your arms or lowering your leg. It was awesome.

This was the bomb. I was able to follow every instruction using one method or another. I felt like a badass.

And, to my surprise, I was drenched in sweat by the end of the session. I had no idea that yoga could make me feel like I had just done a twelve mile marathon without so much as moving one foot in each direction of my mat.

I enjoyed myself so much that I think I’ll be incorporating these yoga sessions into my weekly gym routine.

What about you guys? Have you ever tried yoga before? Was it everything you’d dreamed it would be? Or was it a huge ball of festering failure?


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I MADE A VIDEO

I made a video about the coolness of my tablet! 

It’s really short but I wanted to show you guys why I love it so much – it makes MS Paint drawings faster and the new programs that I plan on using for future doodles are so amazing! (Namely ArtRage) <3

Sorry for sounding like a super giddy little boy, I just haven’t been able to put this tablet down for the past two days.

I NEED PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND WHY I LOVE IT SO MUCH. 

Yaaaay, a new post featuring drawings from the new programs will happen tomorrow. I’M SO EXCITED!!!!!

Here is a slightly more detailed speed doodle:


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WACOM INTUOS PEN TABLET IN MY HANDS RIGHT NOW

So, yesterday, something incredibly magical happened.

I went to the mail box…and I found out… THAT I HAD JUST RECEIVED A WACOM INTUOS PEN TABLET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MIND. EXPLOSION.

I ran around my living room, out of breath, screaming incoherent words because I don’t think I understood how to process this.

So of course, I can barely keep my shit together trying to connect that bad boy to my desktop. This is something I made on MS Paint using the tab and pen:

I was so excited, I think I did like fifty MS Paint doodles. I don’t feel that I should post 50 pictures…because, well, that just seems really unnecessary. I did have fun coloring things in with the pen, it makes drawing and shading much faster than with my mouse. Doge approves.

But, because I was clearly too high on tablet excitement, I didn’t read much of anything in the box it came with. In fact, this morning, while I was experimenting with it again I decided to take a second look at the contents of the box.

Turns out, you get free program downloads if you register your product…

So, now, I have no idea what the fuuuuuuuuuuck I’m going to do!

Like, this is all so much to process. I don’t even know how to use any programs besides MS Paint.

This is the first thing I made on ArtRage…SWEET FIERY SONS OF NEPTUNE, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO MAKE.

THE POSSIBILITIES – OMG!

this program is called Autodesk Sketchbook Express – I like it a lot for shading in colors :3

KOSMONAT, I DON’T DESERVE ANY OF YOUR LOVE, YOU ARE MORE RADIANT THAN FIFTY SUNS, THANK YOU FOREVER AND EVER <3

The only problem now is that my crappy old computer can’t handle the program…

Son of a bitch.


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GUILD WARS

There comes a time in every little girls’ life when she looks back at all that she has done and wishes she had played more video games. It’s a tale as old as time.

Gather round boys and girls, its story time yet again. Today’s topic, I’d like to share with you the deep, passionate, fiery romance that I had with possibly the most entertaining game I had ever played in my life; Guild Wars.

I’d like to say, before I begin, that Guild Wars was my first MMORPG (massively multiplayer online role playing game). Before I was introduced to this game I strictly played console games only…if you don’t count the minor computer games that I entertained myself with as a tiny, tiny child. Oh, I also had a run in with the SIMs and Rollercoster Tycoon…so, I guess I had dipped my toes into computer gaming, but not yet dunked my head in.  Guild Wars changed everything.

This is the story of my digital lover.

So the first time I remember hearing the words “Guild Wars” was from the mouth of one of my ex-boyfriends. He had just picked up the title and been immersed in it. A younger, yet still dashing, girl took notice of how he was totally ignoring her (so, apparently this just turned into a third person narration, roll with me). The debonair girl decided to investigate the situation.

Boyfriend at the time was very zoned out, he would only respond to her in short answers and without eye contact. An avid gamer herself, she knew whatever he was playing had to be pretty good. He briefly explained the premise of the game “Guild Wars” and allowed her to view some game play as he shot arrows around Tyria as a Ranger.

She was impressed. Very impressed. The game looked pretty good. Never having played an MMORPG herself she had her boyfriend explain further. However, senior year was wrapping up so she had better things to do than start a weirdo computer game…she had to apply to college.

So once her first year of college began, she became swamped with papers, assignments, and projects. She grew to love living in the smelly old library, but after a few weeks she developed a strained relationship with studying…a relationship whose bonds were quickly weakening.

So one day, when the urge to procrastinate hit her like a sack of bricks to the face, she suddenly had the inkling to try something…

GUILD WARS. No better time, than the procrastinating present, she thought to herself. So long as I don’t have to do mother fucking calculus, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.

And so, she opened Guild Wars and decided to log on…

What she quickly discovered was that not only was Guild Wars good…it was exciting and addictive as fuuuuuuuuu

So fast forward to a few hours later…then days…then, I don’t know, take a break woman! It was too late, she had become obsessed with Guild Wars for several weeks.

She knew what she had to do. She got her hands on a copy of Prophecies and the newly released Factions and never looked back.

Guild Wars was pretty damn amazing. It was something new, offered RPG gameplay she had never encountered before and a sweet ass sound track. She loved the shit out of that sound track

Before you knew it, Guild Wars and the girl were inseparable.

It wasn’t long before that the girl’s friends noticed she was being really hermit-ish, always cooped up in her nerd cave for days on end.  Her friends were worried about her obsession. But you see, they didn’t understand. To them, all they saw was this:

But the girl, she saw more. She saw an entertaining, challenging, friendly, good looking…

Continue reading


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WordPress Family Award

So, Christina of Life Being Girly and Marry of Viver Para Contar both told me that I am a part of their WordPress family and passed along this award. Which is a cool award, probably my favorite one so far, because I have really come to enjoy getting to know the WordPress community and hope that I have found my own little corner here to call home. I decided to recreate the award in my own style, cause that’s what I do with WordPress…I fiddle with it until it looks like me, lol…

I have really long legs all of a sudden…

I started this blog September 2…so that means I’ve had it forrrrr 1 month, 14 days and 6 hours…clearly I’m counting…

As of today, I have 93 followers. Clearly, all my followers are cool cause they’re into my cheesy posts. And anyone who likes my cheesy posts has to be a cool kid.

That being said, there are a few people that I feel have been super supportive of me and the blog and I always look forward to exchanging comment banter with. I’d like to take this time to say thank you, to my blog family, and pass this WordPress Family Award down to you.

I have to list Christina and Marry as part of my WordPress Family, they are supportive and active and are never short of nice things to say to me! (Seriously, you guys are so nice)

Re-noms, lol!

(1) My rendition of Christina’s avatar

(2) My rendition of Marry’s avatar

I also have to list my biggest supporters of my blog, which are Naty, Kim, Svemmy (potatoes), Sven and Daniela! They also happen to be my favorite people, lol, I lub yew guisez!

Go go real life rangerrrrrrs!

Michael of MichaelAlexanderChaney has been super awesome to me as well, I’ve been inspired by a lot of his blog posts. He was one of the first people (if not the first) to have kind words to say about my blog!

(8) My rendition of Michael’s avatar

I’d like to mention my next supporter, one who has literally shown nothing but love and excitement for all of my posts. That person is Annie of Sweet Wild Flower. She. Is. The. Best. We started our blogs at similar times, and we are very supportive of each other’s blogs. She is the sweetest person you will ever meet and I’m lucky to know her!

(9) My rendition of Annie!

That is my WordPress Fam, the coolest kids on this side of the internet.

Thank you guys for being such a big support to me and my blog.


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GROUP PROJECT THEORY

Some of you may be familiar with the theory of gravity, or the theory of relativity, well…I’m going to educate you on my Group Project Theory.

Gather round boys and girls, this is an important story. So many regrets, tears, and frustrating all-nighters can been attributed to my experience with group projects.

Since I’ve had years of schooling, kindergarten to the mess of debt I’m in now, you would think that I would have mastered being a member in a group project.

You would be wrong.

What I have mastered is the fine, ancient art of DOING ALL THE SHIT MYSELF (DATSM for short). It’s a special skill that I’ve acquired and cultivated. Like wine, it is perfected with age and is done while crying hysterically out of pure, drunk rage.  I’m just kidding, I’m not an angry drunk. The rage, however, the rage is very real.

As a child I was a little, introverted, bloke whenever I was thrown into group projects. I would just sit there until I was assigned something, hopefully not a speaking part. I was like a clip board – you just pinned whatever task you wanted me to do and I’d do it without saying a word back to you. I call this the “productive rock.”

Ideally, I think everyone wants to have productive rocks in their group. You give them something to do, they’d do it, and then you’d put all the rock notes together and turn it in. Done. Fast, simple, logical.

Turns out, and I learned this the hard way, that in order for a team of productive rocks to really shine, they need a PRODUCTIVE team leader.

You can’t just throw in any old asshole into the role of team leader. Oh, no. No, no, no. That’s a terrible idea. Do you know what people do with power? They take that power and they run. I don’t mean metaphorically. I mean they literally boss people into doing the project and physically disappear until the day its due; and then expect the damn thing to be perfect.

See, a team of PRs can’t always run shit by themselves. They don’t speak to each other. So maybe one of them assumes that the other would do a certain part of the project, or one of them accidentally missed something during their research. You gotta have people check that shit. Or else PRs just roll around in a panic on the ground like weebles.

The team leader is the one who has to check the project.  A PRODUCTIVE TEAM LEADER.

Now, as the years went on, I grew to be a bit more outgoing in group projects. But to my dismay, I found that group project members had evolved. Instead of leaders being more leader-y and productive rocks being more productive-y, they all morphed into un-productive, excuse-making, responsibility dodging douche bags.

There were new breeds of team members that I couldn’t, in my wildest of dreams, even fathom existing.

There was the Employed Complainer: a member of your group who has a very hecktic work schedule and thus cannot come to your group meetings. They turn in their portions of the assignments late and you can’t get them to shut up about the hardships of their job.

CRY ME A RIVER AND DO YOUR PART DAMN IT!

The Technologically Inept: I can’t be the only one who met these guys. They claim they don’t know how anything relating to a computer works. They tell you stories about how they use Jurassic technology. So you give them a research portion for like gathering the book references for the project – turns out they don’t know how to use a library either.

WHATEVER, YOU PROBABLY HAVE A SMART PHONE.

The Invisible Member: the guy who you literally haven’t seen since the day this project has been assigned. I just realized the title sounds like a transparent penis.

I hate you.

The Bullshitting Plagiarizer  the team member who gives you their project part and you find out that it was copy pasted from wikipedia and is basically worthless for you to use.

WHY DID YOU EVEN GIVE ME ANYTHING AT ALL???

The Sassy Pants: they’ll do their part, but they’ll also send you fifty million messages about how they don’t like anyone else’s part and how you’re all going to fail if you turn it in this way.

SO MANY NEGATIVE WORDS – JUST SHUT UP OMG

The Data Eraser: this kid – be it valid or not – claims that their portion of the project was erased due to some hardware, software, whatever-ware problem. As sad as their situation is, this just means more work for everyone else.

BOO HOO, now we all have to do it.

The Printer/Power Pointer (Tripple P): this is the guy who doesn’t want to do any work, so they volunteer to print out color pictures or paper via their printer. OR EVEN WORSE – THEY VOLUNTEER TO DO THE POWER POINT.

Everyone knows you’re being lazy, bro.

Okay folks, let me just share something with you. Power point is the easiest fucking program to use. 8 year olds use it to convince their parents to get puppies. I swear I’m not making that up. A basic calculator is more complicated than power point.

Look, this is how you use power point.

  • Step 1: Open power point
  • Step 2: Type words into the ALREADY PRE-FORMATEED FOR CHRIST’S SAKE templates
  • Step 3: Copy-paste images so people don’t fall asleep
  • Step 4: You’re done. There is no step 4.

You don’t need to add weird fly-in slides or fancy noises!  I’m serious.  ANYONE CAN DO THIS. THEY COULDN’T MAKE THIS PROGRAM ANY EASIER IF THEY TRIED.

Okay, now I’m going to make a note that I’m gonna come back to this power point business later on in this post…just make a mental note, right about here. Got it? Good. Let’s move on.

Finally, the last kind of member in modern group projects is The Group Finisher. Group finisher is NOT chosen by the group, oh no – don’t be fooled by that title. The group finisher is the person who gets stuck doing all the work. They have to go back and fact-check their group member’s parts, they have to rewrite the paper or power point because it doesn’t match the rubric. They’re the only one who knows how to properly cite sources.  They basically do the entire thing.  OH AND THEY WILL DO IT TOO! This person has masted DATSM, because they care about their grade. They know that as glorious as it would be to see each and every one of those lazy team members get a failing grade for their crap efforts, that failing grade would also be given to the Group Finisher as well.

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME EVERY TIME?

Now, the reason I wanted you to make mental note about that power point thing is because of this. Although power point is a stupidly easy program to use, people end up giving you their portion of the project in a large, wordy, unbroken, multi-page file.

Guess what. That means you have to do their part for them, because not only do you have to read and summarize their “summary” but you also have to cite everything as well.

So sometimes the Triple P has an easy job, sometimes they do a lazy job and it gets done by The Group Finisher, but its almost always a guarantee that its not going to be done according to the rubric.

Did I cover all the group project fiends? Or have you guys met others???


59 Comments

There can only be one.

When I made this blog, I did it out of boredom and because I thought it would be fun. Surprise, surprise, all of that jazz is true. But do you know what happens when I don’t take things seriously at first? I name things after cartoons.

So here I am, enjoying the blogosphere, as a Super Saiyan.

Normally, I think this is the kind of name people dream of. To be super saiyans, I mean. But in my case, I don’t want my entire theme to be based on one of my cartoon loves. I have a lot of cartoon loves. And I have commitment issues. So sticking to something that only has context with one thing has started to really bother me. No matter how awesome the pun is.

That brings me to now, where I have made the decision to try and create a more generalized blog name. This is no easy task. I had to prepare myself for this, and brace myself against the harsh winds of treacherous creativity. Leap onto the great rock of change and assert my dominance. The destiny of this blog awaits my decision, I plan to take this feat full on.

I guess I’ve never drawn myself with glasses, but I do have them, they’re blue.

The problem with getting into the blogging game now, in 2013, is that people have already selected all the cool names. They had years and years to brainstorm and call dibs on high-quality verbiage. So, they had the advantage. I have to come up with something even MORE creative than those who came before me. Since I’m clearly not the best at naming things, I decided to ask my more creative friends for suggestions. But their suggestions were more on the inappropriate side. I think I talked the most about this to Naty Cakes, where we devised a list of possibilities; yet none immediately grabbed me as “the one”. Throughout our brainstorming session, there was one word that kept popping up…

This conversation actually took place. I love Naty Cakes <3

As cute as the word poop is, I will not be incorporating it into my blog name. So I guess that limits the pool of possibilities.

I went over a few options some more…and decided that I was undecided. There just didn’t seem to be one that jumped off the page at me. Naty Cakes told me sleep on it, marinate in it, meditate about it and that eventually the right name would come to me.

But I am impatient, and when I think of marinating in things I get hungry.

So after I ate, I had to face the truth…This name dilemma was not getting any closer to a resolution.

I kinda got discouraged that I would even be able to find a name that adequately described me and my blog of randomness. I pondered how the greats did it. How did George Orwell come up with 1984 or Animal Farm? How did Kurt Vonnegut conjure up Slaughterhouse Five? Hell, Steven King just came out with Doctor Sleep – which sounds DOCTOR AWESOME! How did Chuck Palahniuk come up with Fight Club or Lullaby or Choke or Invisible Monsters – damn it, Palahniuk came up with some bad ass titles. I need whatever creative juices he’s drinking…

No one beats George R. R. Martin – A Song of Ice and Fire, how epic is that? Oh, wait for it: Game of Thrones, A Clash of Kings, A Dance with Dragons, A Storm of Swords!!! (Thank you Kim)

Of course, those are all far more serious in tone than my blog.

Maybe my inspiration should be more lax.  Like Kyle Humphrey and Graydon Sheppard’s Sh*t Girls Say or Douglas Adam’s Hitchhiker’s  Guide to the Galaxy – I like that title. Even better, John Dies at the End – what a bad ass title, pure genius on the part of Jason Pargin.

Or maybe blogs shouldn’t be named like books. I mean some blogs are like books, they stick to one subject or genre. Others are all over the place. Exhibit A, my blog.

Marry, of Viver Para Contar, wrote a great post about what her blog name means and how personal it is.  Why can’t I have that? Why can’t my blog name be all cool and symbolic?

Therefore, as a last ditch effort to kick start my brainstorming, I am going to just list a bunch of words that I like.

  • Robots.
  • Alien robots.
  • Super Heroes.
  • Comedy
  • Dinosaurs
  • Food
  • Squats
  • MS Paint
  • Medicine
  • Museums
  • Art
  • Gymnastics
  • Guild
  • War(s)
  • Space
  • Galaxies
  • Bears
  • Sharks
  • Radiohead

So…that list looks like the the tumblr of a 16 year old hipster in 2008. FUCK. WHY AM I SO BAD AT THIS?

I hate everything.

Maybe I’ll have better luck with adjectives.

TELL ME, OH GREAT AND POWERFUL READERS, TELL ME HOW YOU COME UP WITH NAMES???


11 Comments

TEDxFIU Speakers and Innovative Shark Ideas!

For those who may remember, I recently perchased my ticket to go to this year’s TEDxFIU Reimagine Possible eventThe tickets to which sold out in a matter of minutes, and I was able to get my hands on one. The ticket camp-out processes is one that I had never done before and provoked a family value-sized amount of anxiety. The sweat on my palms alone could have filled the Red Sea.

Words cannot describe how excited I am to go to my FIRST EVER TED talk. Seriously. Like, the words…I don’t have any.

At the time of purchasing my ticket, I didn’t actually know WHO was speaking at the TEDxFIU event, but nowww THE SPEAKERS HAVE JUST BEEN ANNOUNCED. 

SWEET SONS OF NEPTUNE I AM SO EXCITED.

Innovation and new ideas are something that everyone can use.

Even better is taking negative stigmas and turning them into positives.

Take for example, this supernatural shark phenomenon. So I don’t know if you’ve heard about Sharknado…but its basically showcasing the already feared shark as a diabolical, flying death machine. WHAT?

There’s also Ghost Shark, which I caught on the Sy-Fi channel… It’s about a shark so evil that it kills you after it’s already died. And yes, this shark also flies at you in the land.  Really???

What I’m trying to say is that if we are going to make sharks do stuff that they normally don’t do – why do we have to make their tasks things that are violent – and always flying?  Why not have sharks save the world?

TED has inspired me to reimagine new innovative ways that we can use sharks that relieves them from this flying death trap stigma.

I present to you, Shartato. This shark is half potato, and grows back its body parts – so infinite potatoes for the world to feast on!

I got another idea: Sharktenna. Sharktenna is a new, innovative way to improve your cellphone reception.

I know that I could definitely use this next invention: Shark.S.B. The USB that swims your way when you’ve lost your own USB or desperately need to back up some documents!

But lets think on a global scale, how about repairing our OZONE LAYER? Thanks to sharks, we can. Its a little idea that I call SHARKZONING.

I even have an idea to help local communities get more into physical fitness! Just institute the EXSHARKCISE program!

Help give scientists around the world a new perspective on their research, a shark’s perspective. That’s what the SHARKINEERING is for:

Is your government shut down because of irrational convoluted political drama? Send in the GOVERNMENT SHARKDOWN! All problems will be solved within hours, or no one leaves Washington alive.

So with that last one I seem to have failed at providing a non-violent representation of sharks…sorry. I think I’ve just made my whole argument invalid at this point.

Guess I’ll end it here.

What kind of shark innovation would you invent to better the world?