I'm just Super Saiyan

No one tells me anything, just saiyan…



Alright guys, I’m about to share something with you that only a hand full of people know about myself. That’s right, and after I discuss this with you, I’d kindly ask you to burn this post and never speak of it again. Sharing embarrassing secrets makes us basically best friends…  Mmm, I feel so close to you right now.

So while I was driving back up to my apartment, after visiting family down south, I happened upon a crazy driver along the highway.

She was full-on jamming out to a Britney Spears song, like, JAMMING. Straight up going no-hands-on-the-steering-wheel-I-may-die-call-the-cops-I-don’t-give-a-fuck jamming. I call this kind of reckless singing: Beast-Mode-Acapella (BMA).

Basically, in that exact moment, that random lady was Britney Spears, and she was flipping out all the dance moves she could in the confined space of her motor vehicle.

When I realize that someone is going BMA, I get irritated that they’re jeopardizing the safety of the people around them. I may curse, flip the bird, or honk at them, but the one thing I never do…is judge them.

“Wait, you can’t judge the lady swerving into every lane while shrieking incoherent words?” I hear you ask. Yes, I have no fucking grounds to start judging that lady. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to speed ahead of her and make sure I stay at a safe distance, but that’s only because I understand the great, involuntary power of BMA. You can’t control that shit. When BMA takes you over, all bets are off.

You see friends, there was a time when I would make the great trip from central to southern Florida basically every two weeks. It was a happier time, I had money left over from a few months earlier when I held two jobs concurrently, and my posse was still located in the same area; which made the trip to see friends a sort of one-stop kind of thing. The only problem is that the drive really killed me. Depending on the location of where I would be staying, the drive down south could be anywhere from 3 to 4 hours. I don’t mind making a trip that long maybe once every couple of months, perhaps even every month, but multiple times a month??? Let’s just say it takes boredom to a whole other level.

So, I decided that I should take advantage of the fact that the CD player in my car could hold more than one CD and indulge myself in some new music. Back in the day, the place I used to hang out the most was Borders (a super cool bookstore-cafe-awesome-adventure-building). I had a membership card so I got some coupons all the time to get discounts on CDs. One day, after I had gotten sick of my self-made mixes, I thought I would be a rebel and buy a couple of CDs from Borders at random (I live life on the edge). So I literally walked into Borders, went straight to the bargain CD bin, dug my hands into the mountain of plastic cases and pulled out two CDs. I was excited to listen to my random findings.

Turns out the two CDs I chose were the greatest hits of Cheap Trick (which featured some live tracks, pretty cool) and a Sarah McLachlan Remix CD from 2001.

So, I’m cultured enough to know who Sarah McLachlan is – some of you may recall she did a bunch of advertisements for animal adoption recently. You know, the ones that make you question the type of person you are for not saving every sad kitten or battered puppy? Spoilers, you are a fucking terrible person. As depressed as you are when you watch that commercial, you can’t deny the sweet, sweet serenading voice that Sarah McLachlan has man…its like…undeniable.

The thing that made me question my purchase was that this CD remix was from 2001. So I’m thinking…this is like…a weird, cheesy techno compilation of Sarah McLachlan’s stuff that I could find on those old-school Dance Dance Revolution arcade machines; you know what I mean?

But it was too late to panic, I had to be down south in a few hours. All I could do at that point was cross my fingers and hope the CD didn’t suck.

The second I loaded that bad boy up, something started happening… The song “Fear” came on. I had started the domino effect that leads up to a full-on BMA.

Phase 1: Introduction.

It starts simple enough, you’re just kind of listening to the music. You might not catch all the lyrics, you may even completely space out. You’re just kind of shaking the hand of this song, getting to know them a bit better. Nothing out of the ordinary per say.

Phase 2: Infiltration.

Things are picking up, you’re getting the beats of the song all up in your car. Yeah, you like those beats. Not bad for a techno song. You’re paying a bit more attention to the lyrics, you may even be bouncing your head along to the rhythm. This is the song’s attempt to give you a false sense of security. You my friend, just let your guard down and personally escorted that slimy mother fucking song worm right into your brain. But you’re having such a good time you don’t even know what just happened.

Phase 3: Infestation.

The damage is done, you can’t go back now. That base is sick and already getting stuck in your head. Those beats got you moving your whole body. You are clinging on to every song lyric, those words were written for you man! This is the infestation of the song. It has tricked you into thinking it knows you on a deeper level, you guys have chemistry, you go way back – this is the one that got away. This is your lover. You got to move your body, you got to seduce that lover back into your life. You can’t stop now. You wouldn’t even if you had the option. This is your life now.



Do you see how dangerous this shit is? I could have caused an accident. That’s 4 minutes and 46 seconds of pure, reckless singing.

I swear, this doesn’t happen to me every time I hear a song. I’ve listened to so many freaking songs on my travels from north to south… but this is the only one that makes me go BMA. This song did something to me, and no matter how many times I hear it, it is still as powerful as the first time it seduced me. Self control doesn’t exist with this song. I have to flail my arms to my terrible, improvised choreography and scream bloody murder to reach the high notes that only I can hear.

This is why I can’t judge that girl I saw today, driving like a maniac. Because the second that Brittney Spears song ended…she grabbed her steering wheel and went about her business as usual. Like nothing had ever happened. The song still possesses her, but it won’t come out until the next incantation.

So about that thing that I mentioned earlier, the one about the secret and the burning and the stuff… yeah. If you guys ever mention to anyone that I listen to Sarah McLauchlan techno music, I will disown you and deny this entire thing.


Author: imsupersaiyan

Blogging is hard. I'm just sayian.

21 thoughts on “BEAST MODE ACAPELLA

  1. Aw, I miss Borders!!!! I love your drawing of you missing it!! It’s cute but sad at the same time b/c I feel your pain! It’s so sad they no longer exist.

    I still love CDs especially when I’m riding in the car. i tried my iPod but it’s just not the same when you have a CD. Maybe it’s just me!

    I’m glad you were safe and didn’t get hurt by that crazy singing woman! I mean, no hands??!! Come on! You can jam out and sing your heart out while still driving safely! Shoooot! lol.

    • LOL! Christina, this is the only song that invokes this response from me. I totally jam safely with tons of songs…but I hear that specific tune and its full Beast Mode.
      I tend not to listen to it in the car anymore, lol, :D

  2. Did people ever actually buy anything at Borders? I thought it was like a snazzy library and you just read there instead of checking the books out!

    • Man, I bought so much stuff from Borders – I think I was the only paying customer! I have no idea how they went out of business, I was buying books and cafe items left and right!

  3. By the way, I tend to BMA when something by Rush comes on. The drumming!! I’m an old progrocker….

    • LOL!!! Rush is for sure worthy of BMA, I think I have BMA’d to the Animals’ House of the Rising Sun. I don’t think there are rules to songs that make you beast mode.

    • Also, Rush is totally not an embarassing BMA song in my opinion, the reason I don’t tell people about my BMA song is cause it’s Sarah McLauchlan techno…and I’ve gotten questionable responses to me mentioning it LOL!

      • It’s a little embarassing when you’re getting weird glances at a stoplight while you’re beating up the inside of your car to “Freewill”!
        Hey I just remembered I met Micheal “Logan 5” York at a Borders signing once and I completely embarassed him by gushing about “Logan’s Run”. He was cool about it and signed my DVD anyway. Borders was a wonderful store….

  4. Hahaha! This was brilliant. Damn you’re funny. I loved the whole thing, and I can totally relate. I’m a massive BMA-er. Never to Britney Spears though. But, maybe to Sarah McLachlan.
    I miss Borders too! We had it here and I’d do all my random purchases there. So many CDs I’d never heard of. And I don’t know why, but I could only ever do that at Borders. Strange. My music-purchasing ways have severely suffered since the end of the Borders reign. It’s a shame!
    Don’t worry bestie, your secret’s safe with us!

    • Bro, if you do BMA to Sarah, we got to start a support group. We need to show people this is okay, its acceptable, we shouldn’t be ashamed!
      Borders going out of business was literally the worst possible thing that could have happened to me in terms of discovering new books, studying and general relaxation. That place was my escape. So unfair.
      AW YEAH, I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU EJ! Besties for life.

  5. HAHAHAHA the very last photo made me bust out laughing and I am still laughing as I type this. I have SO been there. I am a big fan of listening to musicals– yes, musicals– when I have a long drive. I will be singing every part and doing facial expressions and gestures and flopping all over my car at top speed down the interstate. I’m glad I now know what to call this experience. BMA, huzzah!

    • Oh man, Aussa I can so picture you going BMA. LOL! Have you ever turned off the music to hear your vocals and been like omg, this is the best-worst thing I’ve ever created with my voice. Cause I do that. And I feel like if it was a musical, I’d be acting out all the lyrics. People driving by would be getting a full performance from me.

      • I’m just glad that everything is digital now and I don’t run the chance that a CD will skip and I’ll be forced to hear my own voice bellowing out a high C. That would likely result in a situation very similar to your last drawing as well…

        • LOLOL, CD skipping… when I hear my voice and am forced to compare it to what I thought was really going on, I am always optimistic with myself. “Oh man, I sound hoarse today…better drink up my fluids so I can reach that high C.” That’s my reaction. Cause I’m clearly delusional.

  6. Love this post! Love the illustrations, too. I can relate. Wait till your 40 and jamming to your equivalent of Hall and Oates. And you just don’t care.

    • LOL, I’ll be jamming to my BMA songs until the day I die. I think its already strange for me to turn on the radio and not recognize anything… I’m so out of touch with the new stuff. Also, the fact that all the songs I love are somehow featured on the radio’s “throw back” playlists has me feeling pretty out of place. Side note – Hall and Oats are bad asses.

  7. Wonderful post and illustrations. Thank you!

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