For those who may remember, I recently perchased my ticket to go to this year’s TEDxFIU Reimagine Possible event! The tickets to which sold out in a matter of minutes, and I was able to get my hands on one. The ticket camp-out processes is one that I had never done before and provoked a family value-sized amount of anxiety. The sweat on my palms alone could have filled the Red Sea.
Words cannot describe how excited I am to go to my FIRST EVER TED talk. Seriously. Like, the words…I don’t have any.
At the time of purchasing my ticket, I didn’t actually know WHO was speaking at the TEDxFIU event, but nowww THE SPEAKERS HAVE JUST BEEN ANNOUNCED.
SWEET SONS OF NEPTUNE I AM SO EXCITED.
Innovation and new ideas are something that everyone can use.
Even better is taking negative stigmas and turning them into positives.
Take for example, this supernatural shark phenomenon. So I don’t know if you’ve heard about Sharknado…but its basically showcasing the already feared shark as a diabolical, flying death machine. WHAT?
There’s also Ghost Shark, which I caught on the Sy-Fi channel… It’s about a shark so evil that it kills you after it’s already died. And yes, this shark also flies at you in the land. Really???
What I’m trying to say is that if we are going to make sharks do stuff that they normally don’t do – why do we have to make their tasks things that are violent – and always flying? Why not have sharks save the world?
TED has inspired me to reimagine new innovative ways that we can use sharks that relieves them from this flying death trap stigma.
I present to you, Shartato. This shark is half potato, and grows back its body parts – so infinite potatoes for the world to feast on!
I got another idea: Sharktenna. Sharktenna is a new, innovative way to improve your cellphone reception.
I know that I could definitely use this next invention: Shark.S.B. The USB that swims your way when you’ve lost your own USB or desperately need to back up some documents!
But lets think on a global scale, how about repairing our OZONE LAYER? Thanks to sharks, we can. Its a little idea that I call SHARKZONING.
I even have an idea to help local communities get more into physical fitness! Just institute the EXSHARKCISE program!
Help give scientists around the world a new perspective on their research, a shark’s perspective. That’s what the SHARKINEERING is for:
Is your government shut down because of irrational convoluted political drama? Send in the GOVERNMENT SHARKDOWN! All problems will be solved within hours, or no one leaves Washington alive.
So with that last one I seem to have failed at providing a non-violent representation of sharks…sorry. I think I’ve just made my whole argument invalid at this point.
Guess I’ll end it here.
What kind of shark innovation would you invent to better the world?
I'm just Super Saiyan 
October 11, 2013 at 2:01 am
The Shark Patrol. Basically they use their aggressive looks to intimidate people so that no one messes with stuff while they’re at some public area. And by public area, I mean shopping places, especially supermarkets. And by people, I mean kids. And by messing with stuff, I mean screaming and crying and throwing stuff around while their parents think about the choices they’ve made in life.
What I’m trying to say is that we need sharks to make sure the annoying kids will shut the hell up when their parents can’t get them to. “If you don’t behave, I’ll eat you.” BAM! Guaranteed well-behaved kids (accompanied by the silent streams of tears running down their faces).
*Disclaimer: not guaranteed to work on babies who don’t know what a shark is or why they should be scared of it.
October 11, 2013 at 8:19 am
I don’t know if the shark patrol will work on the bratty kids these days, they seem to be influenced by no one… but its worth a try!
October 11, 2013 at 8:13 am
Was this the best way to start Friday?
Maybe.
Maybe a little bit.
October 11, 2013 at 8:19 am
I wish it were still Thursday – but I’m glad your Friday is starting off well!
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October 11, 2013 at 3:48 pm
Sharks already are awesome entertainers. Imagine if they learned new specialties:
Sharkspere—would write plays like a master;
Sharkour—urban acrobatics by finny, fanged wonder fish;
They also make great Sharking Attendants (yeah, you don’t want to park here) and if there were Shark Rangers keeping the bears at bay in our national parks, no picnic baskets would ever be stolen again. Bite me, Yogi! Yeah, didn’t think so.
October 11, 2013 at 7:27 pm
I JUST LOST MY SHIIIIIIIIIT READING “SHARKOUR” LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS IS THE GREATEST IDEA OF ALL TIME, I AM JEALOUS THAT I DID NOT THINK OF IT.
I feel like no one would deny the usefulness of Shark Attendants or Shark Rangers…but I hate to see the day when a bear and shark had to fight. I’d be so torn.
lmao, sharkour. genius.
October 11, 2013 at 6:00 pm
This was amazing, I want a sharktato tee-shirt. I’M TELLING YOU, IT’LL HAPPEN.
October 11, 2013 at 7:27 pm
No one wants these on t-shirts naty! It’s just you and me :C
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