“Forget Extinct: The Brontosaurus Never Even Existed” – NPR destroys my childhood again
So when I was a little kid I fucking loved dinosaurs, a lot. I remember a lot of the VHS tapes my brother and I used to watch were like old school claymation where like my little dino friends were brought to life. 1990s technology, got to love it. Let’s not forget LAND BEFORE TIME. That had a lot of replay potential. Little Foot was all over them prehistoric valleys.
Now an article from NPR is bringing to light the BONE WARS [real name, I did not make this shit up]!!!! Apparently, like 130 years ago, two paleontologists, Yale’s O.C. Marsh and Edward Drinker Cope, decided it was a good idea to play a macho game of “Name that Dino the fastest!” I imagine two scientists running back and forth in giant dirt pits while Benny Hill plays in the background. Instead of putting a lot of effort into analyzing the credibility of their findings, they were more in it for the fame, cause they’re dicks. I know, that’s harsh to say…I didn’t know them personally. I’m sure they were lovely people who thought a BONE WAR would be a fun idea…
Anyway, long story short (TL;DR), in 1877 Yale Marsh discovers this cool long-neck, long-tail, veggie dino which he names the Apatosaurus, problem is that it was missing a head. Fast forward to 1883 Marsh substitutes the head of a Camarasaurus to make the skeleton complete. In 1888 Marsh gets another completed dino skeleton that he thinks is a different dino, CAUSE HE CAN’T TAKE TWO SECONDS TO LOOK AT THE DAMN SKELETON, and he decides to name it a Brontosaurus. Spoilers, it wasn’t a different dino, it was a more complete Apatosaurus.
The thing that really bugs me, is that in 1903 someone finally decides to point out that there was a mistake made. But its not until the 1970s when Carnegie scientists publically announced and verified the mistake. So, SCIENTISTS FOUND OUT THAT THIS WAS A MISTAKE BUT THEY JUST FUCKING LET IT KEEP GOING! WTF??? Like, instead of being like, “hey guys, this is wrong, we should correct this” they went “lol, who cares” so now its in children’s books and Jurassic Park and life.
OH BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE!
Remember the Triceratops? I loved those guys, they were so cool! Welp, here’s an article entitled “The Triceratops Never Existed, It Was Actually a Young Version Of Another Dinosaur” …. WTFFFFF? Yeah, that’s what John Scannella and Jack Horner are saying. These two scientists think that the Torosaurus and Triceratops are really the same species.
My first thought is, wait, you mean this guy?
But then I re-read what it says lol… its TOROSAURUS…not Totorosaurus.
Quotes from the Article:
as a Triceratops aged, its horns and frill became more similar to that of a Torosaurus. Short becomes long, saw-edged becomes smoothed and so on. Having them be the same species would explain why there were never any young Torosaurus fossils discovered.
there is a clear transition from triceratops into torosaurus as the animals grow older. For example, the oldest specimens of triceratops show a marked thinning of the bone where torosaurus has holes, suggesting they are in the process of becoming fenestrated.
Gad damn it. There goes my childhood.
Sorry Little Foot. Sorry Blue Power Ranger. Here’s a final farewell for those who watched Dino Riders.
I guess this is why they’re making another Jurassic Park...called Jurassic World. I hope they get their shit together this time.
September 14, 2013 at 3:53 pm
I blame the Discovery channel. A few years ago they had the audacity to convert the myriad of speculation, guesswork, and just plain imagination that goes into prehistoric research into a few episodes of computer generated dinosaurs, as if the whole thing were like a dinosaur reality show, a day in the life of actual dinosaurs as pieced together by the (here it comes) the fossil record. Yeah, a record that needs to be interpreted. Thanks to you for reacting in a way that is as inspiring as the most provocative lies we are ever told. There’s more Truth in a second of your post than in a whole fortnight of Shark Week. Keep Sayian. I’m a-listenin.
September 14, 2013 at 4:39 pm
GAH, I think I did watch a few of those Discovery specials actually… I just feel like, the scientific community as a whole should be more united in the idea of true discovery, instead of fame. I thought those days were behind us, where people would rather seek the cure or crack the code to today’s problems rather than slap a last name to a discovery, but that ego seems to still be attached. I would hope that such an educated community would be more than willing to right wrongs when proven wrong. I mean, its literally been a century since we found out the truth about these two dinosaurs in particular, but I am only now just hearing of this! It’s ridiculous. LOL Thanks for listening to my insaiyan rants Michael! [oh gawd, the puns]
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